Tag Archives: Craigslist

Dating the Recession

The meeting of two personalities is like the contact of two chemical substances; if there is any reaction, both are transformed. – Carl Gustav Jung

     Do you think it’s better to be single or partnered right now? There are days when I miss the interdependency a relationship brings and I’m not talking money, rather, sincere inquiry, warmth, compassion, dating just doesn’t give you that. Then I think about my life now, post-divorce and post-relationship and how much I love my autonomy and I don’t miss the hassle that being a couple brings. Dating sites have been faring well during the recession. Match.com was able to post 4th quarter earnings last year, do you wonder why? 

     Frankly, online dating saves bucks. It allows you to cast a wide net, filter through the pretenders or find your niche. Online chat and emails can help you get to know a person. And how can I say this, first dates, usually coffee or tea can be… cheap. So what’s a laid-off lovely to do when she wants to date? Well I’ve tried a few sites and here are my experiences: 

EHarmony — Might as well be called “ECacophony” because there was nothing harmonious about anyone I met there. The long questionnaires and the filtered communication was a hassle and didn’t help the process one bit. 

Match.com — It is consistently rated one of the best sites. I met someone there and I’m still a bit salty from the experience. Bitter Party of one? Yes I’m right here

Nerve.com/FastCupid — Verbose, intellectually edgy types seemed to congregate here. I met a great group of writers, thinkers and artists, but no soulmate.

Craigslist — Okay I’ll admit that I dated one guy from CL, a fireman who seemed to only talk about what he ate and his workouts at the gym. He had the body to prove it. Cue Wizard of Oz scarecrow music Now if he only had a brain.

Chemistry.com – There was no chemical reaction with anyone. Ba da dum!  

JDate – Tried this at the behest of  a Jewish friend. This is a niche site that features Jewish singles and lets shiskas in too.  The jury is still out. 

     Something spectacular is just around the bend…

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Filed under April

I Spy Your Cheatin’ Eye

     Craigslist. The bargain basement experience of all things that allow us to function. Jobs. Relationships. Community. So I’m trolling the ads like millions of others laid off and looking for work and I come across this:  

     MY WIFE CHEATED ON ME AND MY THREE CHILDREN, SHE HAS REPENTED AND HAS AGREED TO BE FOLLOWED AROUND BY SOME ONE TO SHOW THAT SHE IS NOT CHEATING ANY MORE. YOU NEED A CAR AND A CELL PHONE. HOURS ARE 10-2 AND WILL BE PAID $100 CASH PER DAY FOR FOUR HOURS OF WORK. MOSTLY JUST DRIVING AROUND FOLLOWING HER AROUND AND TELLING ME WHAT SHE IS DOING. IF SHE SEES YOU, ITS NO BIG DEAL, AS SHE HAS AGREED TO BE FOLLOWED. 
-MUST HAVE CAR AND A CELL PHONE. 

SERIOUS INQUIRIES ONLY..  

   This is what happens next after betrayal. One can imagine the dialogue between this couple. The accusations, the conversations that circle and loop and tug at any phrase that might be a lie.  The dark shadow that wakes and walks with them. The pain in that CL post is palpable, but can be overcome. Just like every other setback in life, whether it is betrayal or job loss. Take a breath and remember it is not the end of the world, it’s an opportunity, for you, for us to grow into something, someone different. Change never feels good, but when it comes fold into it. Kick. Scream. Cry. Ask for help.  Then unfold and take a look at what was waiting to get out. 

    Play the hand that’s dealt to you, and play it elegantly. 

    Something spectacular is just around the bend…

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Filed under March