Tag Archives: Passion

Passion! Get it! Hold On To It!

I had another dream about lions at the door.

They weren’t half as frightening as they were before.

But I’m thinking about eternity.

Some kind of ecstasy got a hold on me

– Bruce Cockburn

 

     It has been 45 days since I was laid off. On February 3, the day I was released, the jobless rate in California was 10.5 per cent; new numbers will be released on April 17. I don’t expect the numbers to be any better. We are still shedding Hummers and houses, re-prioritizing what is important and learning to be efficient with less.

     45 days ago I was the same hopeful person that I am now, but struggling with passion, how to connect with it and how to sustain it, in spite of circumstance. And by circumstance I mean bitchy bosses, vengeful exes and fractured ankles, whatever pitch life decides to throw at you. I’ve learned it doesn’t matter.

     Good things come in three’s, connecting to and sustaining your passion is no different. 

   1. Think.

     There was a newscast that used to begin something like this, “From the mountains, to the desert and to the sea, to all of Southern California, good evening.” Pick your favorite and go there, physically or mentally. Do not answer the phone, do not take a laptop, just sit and listen to your thoughts. As they come, don’t judge them. Just let them be. Ask yourself, whom would you be if no one were watching? What would you do for free?

    2. Speak. Write.

       This is where resistance sneaks in. I’m not a writer, I don’t want to tell anyone, and I don’t have time. I’ve heard and said them all. It’s crap. Ignore it. This is important. Articulate the answer to that question. Write, rap it, poem it, paint it, collage it… you get the picture.

    3. Do.

     Be that person; be in that skin if even for but a moment. Try it out on new people that you meet. They have no idea who you were and will experience who you are. The you that is doing their passion. The people that know you might look at you strangely and nod in an annoying knowing way, but what they say and what they think don’t matter. Your passion matters, so do it. Everyday.

     This third step is the most important. It feels self-indulgent. Do it anyway.

     Something spectacular is just around the bend…

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Goodwill and Choice

    “We’ve experienced great trials before… And with every test, each generation has found the capacity to not only endure, but to prosper — to discover great opportunity in the midst of great crisis. That is what we can and must do today. And I am absolutely confident that is what we will do.”— President Barack Obama

 

 The Goodwill store stinks.

     It has a pervasive odor that dangles somewhere between mustiness and pee. It’s not ‘eau de homeless’, more like ‘someone’s a bit ripe’. Honestly, after you’re there for a while you don’t notice it. What you do notice are the racks stuffed to bursting with clothes, some with tags still attached, all organized according to color; white to yellow to orange to red and so on. Your eyes sweep around the store and you see the jigsaw puzzle of discarded furniture, you notice shelves of shoes, the dismembered kitchen appliances, a wall of books and VHS tapes. Looking through the racks you take in the parade of promotional items, tees that read “We Be Ill’in at Children’s Hospital!” (I bet whoever thought that was a good idea is in the same unemployment line I’m in). The hope and promise in the row of satiny white and ivory wedding dresses and god-awful bridesmaid dresses alongside trees made entirely of handbags, purses and hats. It’s a study in all things that were at one time fashionable. The Goodwill store is a landscape portrait of consumerism at its finest.

   It’s not the first time I’m here; I shopped here when I had a job too. We’re one month into this ‘unemployed’ thing and I’ve dropped a size. So I’m looking for a pair of navy blue pants in a size 6, suitable to wear to an interview. What I will be able to find are black pants in a size 8. It’s not a crisis. I’ll endure.

    To the untrained mind and eye (cue Bedingfield’s Happy) it might seem as if I have few choices. That is not the case. I have more choices now than ever before. That I couldn’t find navy blue pants is a small thing. That I have the choice to write and to create is really big. I’ve made a choice to not just work a job any longer; I’ve chosen to work my passion. I’ve chosen to take a moment to appreciate my friends, those that have held me in prayer, the energy of their thought or simply in their arms. Work should make life sweet. That’s what I want, the sweet life. It’s too short for anything less.

Something spectacular is just around the bend…

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